On Friendship: Part 3 of 3

I've had a lot of time to think about friendship and it's something that I'm still trying to work out in my head. But I certainly have a clearer idea of what it is now, than I did 11 months ago. Being abroad is tough on relationships. I can't just bop over to have lunch with a friend, to have coffee, to have drinks, to watch a movie, etc. I can't just pick up the phone and have a good chat on the drive to work. I can't do all of the things that, for me, equated to a friendship. It's just not possible. I need to schedule phone calls and the only way I can see someone is via skype. And so if everything that I equate with friendship is taken away from the friendship, what kind of relationship is it?

Being away has changed the way that I look at what friendship is, how it works, and why it's important. I really had a hard time about 3 months into being here. The newness and excitement of being abroad and living with Ryan had worn off and I really was missing my friends. After having lived with 2 girls for the last 2 years and then living with a million of them at college, it was a sudden change to not have them around all of the time. Plus, its a lot of work to write and send an email. I know it doesn't seem like it is, but it is. When time passes the thought of filling someone in, via email, is daunting. You have to explain so much, and you have to go back in time. It's the task that you always put off until the next day and then 2 months have gone by and you still haven't done it. I get that. But it was hard for me to not be in communication with my friends.

I had a lot of conversations during that time about what is friendship and a lot of conversations asking, essentially, 'are we still friends?' And what I've come to realize is that as I get older, my relationships have to, need to change. They aren't comprised of sleep overs and sharing every intimate detail and every non-important conversation. People grow up and have less time. Plus people are developing serious romantic relationships that become number one, instead of the best friend and the romantic relationship being separate. And this is normal. This is natural. This is what happens to everyone. I'm not some weird crazy that's friendships are changing just because I moved to Ecuador. But this would have happened no matter where I live.

I also learned that friendships come and go, just like all things they ebb and flow. Sometimes they're strong and sometimes they aren't. But just because you're going through a weak phase in one friendship that doesn't mean that it's forever from this day forward invalid. It just means its weak right now.

Most of all, I've learned that I have to make my friendships work for me. They might not be what I imagined them to be, but I have to accept that. I have to be willing to let go of some relationships, either temporarily or permanently, that aren't good for me. Especially those that I put in effort, upon effort, upon effort without any return. I can't keep relying on those relationships as my strongest ones or most important ones.

It's definitely still a work in progress but I'm happy with it. I feel as if my friendships are more substantive now and that I don't take them for granted. One of my most anticipated times of being home is seeing my friends. I just can't wait to spend actual time with them.

So that's what I've learned. It's certainly not the most coherent thing but it's changing everyday. And for once, I'm ok with that.

MULUB,
Taylor

PS. 4 days until the race, 11 days until (we celebrate) Thanksgiving, and 21 days until we're home!

Oh The Stress

Here's just a little recap as to what's been happening lately:
Last Sat: we went to Mama Negra in Latacunga
Last Sun: we had people here to watch the football game and Chuki had a play date
Mon: I worked 4 hours
Tues: I worked 4.5 hours
Wed: I worked 5 hours and we got paid

Perfect Football Appetizer

Make sure you make a lot of these because they'll be snatched up in minutes! The recipe was taken straight from Martha Stewart and only one substitution was made - leeks for scallions!

Enjoy!

Cheesy Onion Rolls

Goodness, I hate the name of this bread. I need to think of something new. But until I do, here's the recipe. Warning... these rolls are super delicious and super versatile. You could make the filling out of anything and the bread is SO light and airy! You might eat all of them before your guests arrive. The directions are a little intensive but so so worth it. Don't be intimidated by the process, it's really not difficult. Best to start these babies early in the day because there are two periods of time where they have to rise.

MULUB,
Taylor

Last Night's Game

We had a very busy weekend and a very fun weekend. Friday we had a skype date with Ryan's family and with Doug! Saturday we got up early and went to Latacunga for the Mama Negra festival (more on that later). Then Sunday we had a puppy play date with a 4 month old boxer pup and her owner. Then we spent the rest of the day watching futbol and cooking for Sunday Night Football. We had six people over, plus us and Chuki. On the menu: Nacho Fries, Pumpkin Chili, Regular Cornbread, Jalepeno Cornbread, Cheesy Onion Rolls, and Vermont Spiced Cake with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting. Everything was a hit and everyone left like you leave a football party in the states, full of beer, food and wishing the other team had won!

2 Lists

I don't know if it's because Christmas time is in full swing here, or if it's because we'll soon be in the land of consumerism but lately I've had this running list of things that I would love to buy scrolling through my head. I thought I'd share it with you...

1. Nike Fit watch because I never know how far I'm running. Plus my watch died yesterday and it's driving me crazy to keep looking at my wrist and not seeing anything!

2. Vibram shoes, if you can call them that. I don't know why I really want a pair of these, I just do. They seem pretty versatile. A little bit like keens, a little bit like tennis shoes. Whatever it is, I want them!

3. Food Mill. I have wanted a food mill for ages but just haven't gotten around to buying one and now that we're here in Ecuador I don't even think they sell them. I know you may think that I could just use the food processor but when Ina says use a food mill, I believe that the food mill is what I should use.

4. Spice Grinder. Ours just broke and we seriously use this little gadget for everything. My coffee, tahini, egg meal, bone meal, spices. The spice grinder is used daily in our household.

5. Hiking Pants. Basically I want them because they're water resistant, light weight, and dry quickly! They're a much better alternative to the Ecua-pants, that I have a strange suspicion are only acceptable in Ecuador.

6. Camera. My point-and-shoot is dying. I have to use a bobby pin to get the battery out in order to recharge it. And for the first time, I feel like I'd actually like to learn about taking good photos. Largely in part because of this blog, but also because I feel like my photos have no depth and there's so much to take pictures of here that has depth. I really have no idea about this specific camera but I know I want something similar to this one.

7. Collapsible Dog Bowls. While travelling, there's nothing bulkier than Chuki's food and water bowls. If you saw the photos of our recent camping trip, that big black bag that Ryan had hanging from his pack was full of Chuki stuff. Including these super large dog bowls. These would be nice to have.

8. New clothes - work, life, running. I'm not talking a ton of new clothes but just the basics. No link necessary.

Like I said, I have this list scrolling through my head lately. But I also have this list too... The Things I'm Looking Forward To When I'm Home list, which includes...

1. Memory Foam Pillow. Our pillows here are terrible and I can't wait to have my beloved pillow back!

2. Pure Beech Jersey Sheets. These are heaven. If you don't have them, make your way to the nearest Bed Bath and Beyond to buy them RIGHT NOW!

3. Pizza from here, here and here.

4. Bogdan Christmas. Enough said.

5.  Cozy Pants. These specific ones I accidently left at my parent's house because I was wearing them when I was packing.

6. And of course, it's a given, but seeing friends and family!

I think maybe I'm a lists person. 


MULUB, 
Taylor

Japan v. Korea

So we've officially begun looking at jobs in Japan and Korea. We're thinking we'd want to start in the Fall of 2011. It makes me super excited to think about this new opportunity and just looking at the pictures on the websites are breathtaking!

But we need your help. It seems like everyone we know knows someone thats working in Asia as an English teacher. We're looking for two things:

1. People that teach English in Asia.
2. How to get in contact with them.

If you could help us with this, we'd really be appreciative. Right now we're only at the very beginning stages but after teaching for almost a year now, we certainly have a better understanding of what questions to ask and what to look for.

Thanks so much!

MULUB,
Taylor