In Chicago

I love Chicago. It's such a great city where everything feels at the same time BIG CITY and SMALL TOWN. It's just a great place to live. I hope to be able to move back some day and possibly raise a family here but that day is not TOday.

Here are some random musings:

Everything is so expensive. My parent's used to say living in the city is just more expensive than not and I never agreed with them. Sad but true, I was wrong. It's expensive. My dad also always used to tell me "Sometimes you just have to say no. You can't afford to do everything." While I absolutely HATE the idea of this, it also is true. Ryan and I lived on such a tight budget while in Ecuador that the prices in the city are absolutely absurd to me. Last night I went out for pizza with girls that I love. Hannah and I paid together and it cost us $45 FOR TWO PIZZAS, tax and tip. We didn't have wine, we didn't have an appetizer, we didn't have dessert. We literally had two pizzas and tap water. Ryan and I could have gone out to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner for two days with $45. The bus here is $2.25 in Ecuador it was $0.25. The cost of living and the quality of living is just so much higher here that it makes it ridiculous.

Here's the hard thing... my friends live here in the city. So dinners like last night are more common than not. And I have a REALLY hard time saying no. But if we ever moved back here we would have to just say no. Which to me just seems counter productive. If we move to Chicago to be close to family and friends but we can't afford to see family and friends, then what's the point?

Another observation... there is such rampant consumerism and materialism here. Now I know that individuals have very little control over it because its a product of the society that we live in. But pizza costs $15 because enough people pay it. Hannah and I stopped into a coffee shop before we met the girls for dinner and I just asked how much a banana costs. The response = $1. In Ecuador I could buy a whole bunch of bananas for $1.50. I know that isn't a truly fair comparison but still. There is so much temptation here in Chicago to spend money on things that really don't matter. In Ecuador we learned to live without things because they didn't exist and so it was easier. Now our lesson has to be resisting the temptation to buy and consume when the options are plentiful. I love pretty things and I used to shell out a lot of money for things that were just pretty. That abruptly stopped in Ecuador because they make things useful, not pretty. Now I have to learn self control.

Which brings me to something I've said before and I'm saying again. People here in the USA have so much stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. This one has been easier for me in our 'home' (read - my parents' basement). We have what we need and all of the extra stuff we either through away before we left for Ecuador or is still in the storage bins. It's a truly freeing feeling. I don't feel tempted to go to Target and buy things just because I want them.

My biggest temptation is when it comes to friends. If a friend says lets go out to eat or lets meet for coffee or lets do this or that, I have a really hard time saying, "I can't because I don't have the money." But I need to get better at it.

Let me preface this by saying, I completely 100% am still trying to figure this out! Which makes me wonder, how many people out there don't have the money to live the life that they are living? How many people are too embarrassed or self conscious to say 'No, I can't' and so they do it anyways and go into debt to continue the lifestyle? I know that I struggle with it all of the time. But it's crazy. I used to have an astronomical credit card bill because of dinner dates, coffee and shopping trips. Not because of anything of substance. I realize that this is probably just more for me now. So with that, I leave you with these two thoughts: Would my friends understand if I said 'no' to an invitation because I couldn't afford it? And would they welcome the idea of a cheaper option, i.e. a potluck dinner at someone's house instead of a dinner out?