Migraines....

I wrote this on Thursday of this week, when I was suffering from a massive migraine. Enjoy!

You can't tell, but my eyes are closed and without the flash it was pitch black in there!

Right now I’m laying in bed, flat, without any pillows because I have a migraine. Now, I’m familiar with migraines, we’ve been in a love/hate relationship for about five years now. They love me, I hate them. But this isn’t any kind of migraine. This one today is one of only four I’ve ever had in my whole entire life. This is the kind that when it happens, I feel like I’m going to die. As I type this, I have all of the lights off in the apartment, all of the curtains closed, a warm towel over my eyes, and Christmas music on very very quietly, so quiet I can barely hear it. 

The day of initiation when I got my first migraine like this. 

I remember the first time I had a migraine like this. It was the fall of my first semester at Lake Forest College right after Alpha Phi initiation. We were cleaning up and I felt really queasy and shaky. Then my hands started to go numb and I couldn’t see clearly out of my right eye. Shortly after, the piercing pain into my right eye started. It feels like someone is continually and methodically stabbing my right eye from behind with a very sharp knife. Never taking the knife completely out of my head, but just through my right temple and into my eye. Up and down, back and forth, excruciating pain. The pain is so strong that I feel like I’m going to vomit. And the disorientation that the pain causes makes me feel like I can’t function on my own. 

Today, I was answering emails and my eyes started to get blurry. There were lines of fuzziness across the middle of both eyes and I couldn’t concentrate on the screen. I should have just laid down then, but I figured I could make it class. So I left for class and on my way there I started to feel queasy and shaky. When I sat down in my student’s office, he looked at me and knew something wasn’t right. Then my hands went numb. I told him to work on an exercise while I went to the bathroom. I was convinced I was going to vomit. When I came back the stabbing started and I kindly told my student I needed to go home. I felt so disoriented that I knew I couldn't get myself home on my own. I called Ryan and he came and picked me up at Juan Valdez, where we had arranged to meet to go out to lunch after both of our classes. In the cab ride, I was convinced I was going to puke, but I didn’t thanks God. We got home, I laid down and Ryan made me some soup. That was at about 2pm and I’ve been sleeping on and off since then. The disorientation has subsided but there’s still that pain of being stabbed in the eye. I’d rather feel that pain though than feeling so disoriented. That’s what’s really unnerving. 

I think I’ve identified some of the common characteristics. First of all... no morning cup of coffee. Every time that I’ve had one of these types of migraines, I haven’t had my morning coffee. Plus I’ve always had an empty stomach only filled with high sugar candies. Today I didn’t have coffee, I’ve had digestion problems because of eating at the market, so my stomach is ABSOLUTELY empty, but then my student gave me a box of Chocolates as a Christmas gift this morning so I ate a couple of those along with a cookie that I made last night. And the third characteristic is that I’ve been hot, too hot. The first time, at initiation I was wearing a big heavy sweater and corduroy pants in a closed room without any windows, with the heat blaring and about 50 other girls. Today I had a sweater and my rain coat, which doesn’t have vents and a scarf on. I was walking pretty fast and it wasn’t particularly cold out. Too hot! Now I don’t know if I drank coffee every morning and never ate sweats and never got too hot ever again, if they would stop. But those three things combined seem to make the perfect storm. I’ll probably be in bed the rest of the evening. I’m grateful I have such a great Ryan who takes care of me and keep Chuki from jumping on me and barking in my ear while I’m super sensitive to light and sound. 

I feel very unproductive when these migraines happen because I can’t watch tv or movies or read or do anything. Basically it’s just flat on my back for hours and hours on end. But at least I can type! This is something new I’m trying and its actually working really well! This way I can get caught up on blog posts. Not really proofreading, but at least the content is there. 

Anyways, hopefully this means I won’t be due for one of these bad boys when I’m home! 

See you all in THREE days. 

MULUB, 

Taylor