My Wonderful Day

OK. So I don't have any classes until next week so I have quite a bit of free time for whatever. We needed another cell phone so that we each have our own personal contact information. So I brought my debit card with me down to the Movistar to get a cell phone. Apparently the visa part of my card doesn't work here because Ecuador is one of their "restricted" countries.

Anyway I have to go back to the hostel to get another card, which is a pain in the ass because the hostel is a twenty minute Ecovia ride from the Movistar where someone speaks English. (The Ecovia is like a bus except that it is always packed completely full of people. Several times already someone on the outside of the bus has had to shove the doors closed, that is how many people they fit into this thing.)

I go back to the hostel and get the card, and as I'm walking up the street to the Ecovia, a guy stops me saying, "Meester, meester", and has me look at my backpack, which is covered in God only knows. I assure you this mess was not present when I lefts the hostel. It looks like baby yak and smells like fermented baby yak. It was the lutefisk of things you throw at foreigner's backpacks. I ask the man what it is and he says, "merda", which on closer inspection later it really wasn't, but for all intents and purposes it may as well have been. It was honestly the foulest smelling thing that my nose has been that close to. Even now I can smell it, when I close my eyes.....

At first I thought it was just somebody trying to eff with the Gringo, but then the guy was motioning for me to set in on the ground so he could wash it off, and then I was like, ehhhh, maybe not. Gracias, but no gracias. And I take my bag and start walking back to my hostel. Then this lady stops my and is trying to get me to go into the bathroom while she cleans off my bag. I respectfully decline her offer.

Look, I understand these scams but this is ridiculous. For one there was nothing in my bag. I had my English teaching stuff, and some sunscreen. These Quitenos don't need sunscreen. It's 75 degrees out and they're wearing black turtlenecks, and their babies are all wearing snowsuits. So the only thing this person could possibly have gotten out of this venture was a smelly backpack. I kept it, by the way, in hopes that a good hosing will cure its ills.

Later on in the day, the lady who gives out change on the Ecovia wouldn't take the gold presidential dollar. I mean it's covered in gold. It says United States of America $1 on it. I didn't mint the thing in my basement. Pat Boone would've taken it. I mean, I can't be the only one thinking this. Right?

-Ryan